The Drama Triangle

& The Enneagram

Break free from Messy Relationship Dynamics

Ready to stop playing out the same old rigid roles and take back your rightful power & freedom?

What is the Drama Triangle?

Ever feel like no matter what you do, you’re always cast as the helper who burns out, the “bad guy” who gets blamed, or the one left waiting to be rescued?

That’s the Drama Triangle that shows up stressful relationships in three roles:

  • Hero – overly responsible, rushing in to fix while ignoring their own needs.

  • Villain – unfairly blamed when others’ needs go unmet.

  • Victim – stuck in helplessness, hoping someone else will come save them.

These roles aren’t inherently bad — but they do distort responsibility & power.

Who’s held responsible? Who’s actually responsible?

Sometimes we take on burdens that don’t belong to us, while others get a free pass. Sometimes we drop what’s ours to carry and get upset that no one notices.

Who loses out? Everybody involved.

Enneagram Four as the Archetype

Type Fours are infamous for being intense, emotional, and prone to push-pull dynamics & power struggles. That’s why they’re the archetype of the Drama Triangle — not because Fours are uniquely “dramatic,” but because they shine a spotlight on the very human patterns that are universal to all of us.

Fours don’t have a monopoly on drama, but they reveal what’s usually in our own shadows, hidden while definitely driving all of our reactive patterns.

Every Enneagram type (and subtype) can get sucked into these roles, depending on which needs are at stake — even the “friendly” types of Twos & Nines and the drama-avoidant types of Ones & Fives! No one is immune, and all are unintentionally drafted into the Triangle.

Whether you’re a Four, in close relationship with a Four, or simply tired of painful feedback loops with others, this mini course will help you recognize your rigid roles and grow beyond it.

Learn how your Enneagram type (yes, even yours!) gets pulled into drama — and how to break free.

Hello from an Enneagram Four!

I’m Joanne, and I know the Drama Triangle all too well both personally & professionally.

For years, I found myself being:

  • Overly responsible for others’ feelings — jumping in to help even when no one asked, because I felt guilty if I didn’t or felt like I needed to pay off a huge debt in life.

  • Burned out because my own needs weren’t getting met.

  • Growing resentful & blaming others, creating chaotic feedback loops in my relationships (especially with my closest people — sorry!).

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was living out the Hero, Victim, and Villain roles on repeat.

And while my Four-ness made these patterns loud and obvious, I’ve since learned that these dynamics are universal human experiences.

In my work as an Enneagram therapist, I see again and again how different types & subtypes get drafted into specific roles — sometimes without even realizing it. What looks like a “personal flaw” is often just an unconscious habit shaped by our personality structure a la Enneagram type.

That’s why I created this 90-minute mini course: to share what I’ve learned, both from my own lived experience and from years of supporting people who are stuck in exhausting, lopsided, or blurry relationships.

My hope is that you’ll see your own patterns more clearly (without shame or judgment!) and walk away with tools to step out of drama and into healthier connections as you’ve been longing for.

  • What the Drama Triangle of Hero, Villain, & Victim is — and how it makes your life & relationships messy & painful!

  • How Enneagram 4 is an archetype of how each part interacts with each other (and how this affects everyone regardless of type!)

  • Where the other Enneagram types & subtypes fall on the Drama Triangle 

  • How drama dynamics show up in 1:1 and group relationships

  • How to spot when you're getting sucked into drama — even when you're trying to avoid it!

  • How to practically reclaim your dignity & power so you can shift out of drama and into healthier connections

WHAT THIS MINI COURSE COVERS (IN JUST 90 MINUTES!):

Let’s give you brand new ways of living & loving beyond your Enneagram type!

Bundle Bonus!

Save $10 when you add this extra mini course!

It’s one thing to recognize how you add to the drama feedback loop. It’s another to concretely get out (& stay out) of these patterns, especially if you’re in relationship with others who don’t want these dynamics to change!

Boundaries are what keep you from slipping back into old roles and help you protect your energy, relationships, and sense of self — because when you completely lose yourself to these roles, what relationship is there?

Together, these two courses will give you both the insight to know what’s happening and the practical steps to change them.

Here’s what others have said!

  • I have appreciated Joanne Kim talking about SP 4s. I cried when I heard her talk about putting the repressed SX instinct 'in its rightful place' because this gives us vitality, life force, and enables us to stand up for ourselves. Learning that this is possibly related to my repressed SX instinct has been a revelation.

    Meghan L.
    EnneaSummit Attendee

  • Joanne has supported me in identifying my own self sabotaging patterns, mindsets, and helping me to break through my limited beliefs and step into my personal power. Her real life experience of working through difficult emotions helps me to champion myself as I give my gifts to the world.

    Rukmini Poddar
    Artist & Author of “Draw Your Feelings”

  • All my life, I have put others before me and I am burning out piece by piece. I often question whether the decisions I make are for me. I want to be more in control of my life instead of living reactively…proud of my emotions and feelings instead of ashamed…more confident in my relationships and career.

    D.L.
    The BIG Feelings Foundations Member

  • I really enjoyed Joanne Kim's presentation. She had a really good grasp of the subject and offered great resources. I even purchased one of her masterclasses. Great information.

    Miki H.
    EnneaSummit Attendee

  • I had to say how deeply impactful Joanne Kim's session was. I've never heard emotions discussed through the Enneagram like that before... I've spent my life feeling ashamed of my 'negative' emotions. She’s so insightful and articulate. I'm genuinely grateful.

    Sally K.
    EnneaSummit Attendee

  • Joanne Kim has multiple times been a favorite to listen to. She's so clear and easy to follow, but her take on 'Numb' as the affect expression of pushing down emotions was eye-opening on how I use numbness in my Enneagram Nineness.

    Amy R.
    EnneaSummit Attendee